I hope Rick Santorum bribes his children into good behavior by promising them a trip to the toy store where he will purchase them anything their little hearts desire. They drive forty minutes to the “better” Toys ‘R’ Us, only for Rick to discover that he has left his wallet on the nightstand at home. I hope Rick Santorum’s children then simultaneously throw tantrums all the way back to his house, whereupon he decides that they no longer deserve their toys, and refuses to return to the store for them. This causes all of his children to realize that he is untrustworthy, destroys their relationship with their father, and turns them into godless liberals who require hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of psychotherapy to get over their childhood trauma regarding their father’s lies about toys.
I hope Rick Santorum hits his funny bone on his podium as he walks up to give another asinine speech.
Santorum gets testy with Chicago radio host
Santorum Campaign Website: The Obama Administration has turned a blind eye to those who wish to preserve our culture from the scourge of pornography and has refused to enforce obscenity laws. While the Obama Department of Justice seems to favor pornographers over children and families, that will change under a Santorum Administration.
Radio Host Bruce DuMont: Do you really believe the president really does not care about protecting children and going after pornographers?
Rick Santorum: He’s not. The Bush administration had a very active program of going after folks who were purveying pornography to children, and this administration has halted most of those prosecutions.
Dumont: If we were to replace ‘Barack Obama’ with the name 'Joe Paterno,' could we say that Joe Paterno seemed to be favoring a child rapist over the Penn State football program?
Santorum: That's sort of an insulting question. It's a ridiculous question, Sir, and I’m not going to answer it. You’re welcome to ask a question. That doesn’t mean I’m going to answer absurd questions.
Icky Ricky (Parody of Icky Vicky from The Fairly Odd Parents)
With some lyrics from this post.R-I-CKY
The sound of his name makes the democrats cry (AHHHHHHH)
Hey ricky you’re so so icky
Just the thought of you as Prez makes me oh so sicky
Hey ricky won’t you please explain why
you get so much enjoyment out of causing us pain
(OH OH OH!)
Santorum’s just a jerk
Against gays and controll birth
He’s a presidential nightmare
For what it’s worth
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Hey ricky, let me tell you true
If we ever get the bad luck to be stuck with you
We’ll change our countries around the spring
‘Cause It’s your super total yuckiness
that makes us wanna sing
Icky ricky (oooh oooh)
Icky ricky (oooh oooh)
Icky Ricky!
I love you. You win the internet for today.
(Source: celinedetardis, via nicetomeetyouimcliche)
It’s like John is after my heart. With his witty political commentary, that makes all the sense in the world. <3<3<3
If this guy becomes president I’m fleeing the country.
^^I’m joining you.
(via doctorwhodoll)
