Penny: Mustache is looking good there, Sheldon.

Sheldon: Don’t thank me. Thank the dice. They told me what percentage of my face to shave.

Howard: Why are you still doing this?

Sheldon: Because it’s working. In the past few weeks, unburdened by trivial decisions, I’ve co-authored two papers in notable peer-reviewed journals, and I’m close to figuring out why the Large Hadron Collider has yet to isolate the Higgs boson particle.

Leonard: You left out, got chafed testicles because you no longer wear underpants.

Sheldon: The dice giveth and the dice taketh away.

— The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst” (via bbtquotes)

Sheldon: You’re good friends with Penny, right?

Amy: Best friends, besties, BFFs, peas in a pod, sisters who would share travelling pants.

— The Big Bang Theory, “The Infestation Hypothesis” (via bbtquotes)